Eating out: Where do we go, where do we all sit?

One of the more challenging things with sudden hearing loss is noisy environments, especially restaurants. Over the summer, while first coming to terms with my hearing loss, it was easier to simply not eat out with other people and instead to invite them to my home. More recently, my wife and I have begun to eat out with others again and doing so presents some challenges. I have realized that eating now involves three major decisions.

The first consideration is invariably where to eat. This decision is now largely influenced by how loud or noisy the restaurant will be. Well before my SHL, I knew that certain environments were louder than others. These include places with "hard surfaces" where sound bounces off the walls and floor instead of being absorbed by it. Other factors that influence this are hard chairs (wooden/metal chairs) which cause sound to bounce off them rather than being absorbed by them. Places that have walls or dividers to separate groups of tables into small groups in the restaurant are optimal. If I could design the perfect restaurant environment in which I could eat at, it would be a restaurant with many small rooms of tables, none of which could accommodate more than 4 or 6 people, with carpeted floors and chairs/booths with cushions to absorb the sound.

After figuring out where to eat, the second challenge becomes getting a quiet table in the restaurant which often means eating out early, around 5 or 6 pm for dinner, before the restaurant has a lot of people and is noisy. I have found that quiet tables are often those in the back or near a wall and in a corner without tables on all sides of us.

The third decision involves where I sit. When eating out with another couple, the optimal place for me to sit is such that one of them is to my left and one of them is immediately in front of me while my wife is to my right. This is because most of my hearing loss is in my right ear. With one of the couple to my left and the other facing me, I am able to hear what they say and often extrapolate from body language and other cues what I can't hear. With my wife sitting to my right, I don't mind asking her to repeat things she says. She is also able to hear and sometimes repeat what others have said.

In the midst of these challenges, I am blessed with friends who are very sensitive to me and willing to work with me on this. Every time I've eaten out with friends since disclosing the SHL, my friends have been kind about all this. They are open to discussions about where to eat that will be quiet and enjoyable for ALL of us and if they get there before me, they indicated they have often requested a table in a quiet area of the restaurant. They also offer to switch seats if they are sitting in one that would be better for me and my hearing. I've read of others with less sensitive friends and family who, for some inexplicable reason, think hearing loss is something one simply needs to "get over." In the midst of much loss, I have much to be grateful for.