Seeking balance

Balance. What is it? It seems as if it something many of us are striving for and frequently discuss but is often illusive to many of us. Is it something we achieve in the pursuit of it, something we acquire simply by seeking it? Does the act of seeking it give us more of it, a bit like gratitude? I found myself thinking about balance following a Facebook messenger conversation with DW, 

a former student and increasingly cherished friend.

Dealing with my hearing loss involves a lot of balance. I need to feel the feelings I am going through as I grieve but can't get locked into and live in the grief and the emotions associated with it, largely sadness and anger. I have to manage my energy (hearing loss fatigue is real) and yet do things even when I'm tired. I need to engage in self-care and rest but not

Dealing with SHL is hard, very hard, especially in these early stages. It's easy to get wrapped up in the challenges of it and believe that my suffering is permanent, that the pressure, the tinnitus, the headaches, will never end. Today, they feel like they won't. Balance. Finding a way to accept that these are very real, will probably be with me for the rest of my life, and yet maintaining hope that they will come to an end. Buddhism talks a lot about suffering but as I am early in to my Buddhist journey, I have much to learn about this concept. Regardless of what it teaches, I need to accept that I have a chronic health issue that frequently requires making decisions that requires making difficult decisions, decisions I didn't have to make in May 2016 before Jekyll ate my ear and my SHL hit. 

Balance. An destination or something we acquire in the course of seeking it out?