Impermanence

It has been a month since my last post and I have been thinking a lot about impermanence. Buddhists suggest that our suffering is the result of attachment and our challenges in accepting that life is impermanent. The past month has confirmed this. On September 7, 2016, I woke up with with significantly less pressure in my ear. Using the 0 -10 scale used in the Pain Rating Scale with 0 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain I'd ever experienced, if I had measured the average pressure in my ear over the summer, I would have said it was a 9. On September 7, 2016, I woke up and felt much less pressure, probably a 5 or so. As we traveled throughout the weekend, I continued to notice decreased pressure in my ear.

Coincidentally, on September 12, 2016, I had a second opinion with an ENT at UAMS in Little Rock who confirmed the fluctuations in my hearing. Moreover, he suggested that my diagnosis was not sudden hearing loss but instead the symptoms pointed to an atypical form of Meniere's disease. Symptoms of Meniere's include fluctuating hearing loss, tinnitus, pressure, and vertigo. Mine is atypical in that I do not have vertigo but I do have bouts of disequilibrium. His recommendation was to go on a low-sodium (<1500 mg/day) diet and pay attention to the pressure in my ear and hearing. For the past 3 weeks, I have tried to do just that. I have also been tracking the pressure in my ear and noting it several times a day using the scale noted above. I am also tracking everything I eat using My Fitness Pal and my goal is to consume ~1500 calories and <1500 mg/sodium per day. It has been a challenge at times, as it has been today and yesterday and often is on the weekends, but tracking everything that comes into and goes out of my body, along with my subjective pressure levels and how many T (tinnitus sounds) I hear should yield information about triggers for the pressure. As the pressure increases, my ability to hear decreases. My ability is fluctuating and thus impermanent and seems to be teaching me to accept impermanence. I am gradually accepting that my attachment to my hearing causes me suffering and if I can let that go, and roll with the fluctuations in it, I will be a calmer and happier person.